Here Comes Two!

Big Time Blog Slacker! That’s me!

Legitimate excuse! Meaning I have one, I swear. Something happened…something like being in training for work (and thus away from my desk), then going on vacation for a week, then coming back and being totally swamped at work and not even having time to check my bank balance. Those are legitimate excuses – yet still excuses, nonetheless.

Things have died down a bit. I have some time to spare. Once October 1 rolls around and the new fiscal year starts it’ll get even more quiet.

My little man’s birthday is right around the corner – he’ll be 2 years old in just 16 days. Unbelievable. He is getting to be such a big boy. I love him more more more each day.

I see him beginning to see himself as an individual, although he doesn’t refer to himself yet. He’s still pretty obsessed with who things belong to – especially cars. Cars and trucks are a big thing at our house! In fact, I was just looking around on the internet to see if I could gather some ideas for redecorating his room. I love the green and brown bunny theme we have now, but it’s too babyish for my 2 year old. We need something big boy-oriented.

I have to figure out how to buy a twin bed. I don’t like the way that some stores sell frames and headboards separately. I want it all together in one neat little (big) package. He’s not going to get a new bed in time for his birthday, but he probably will get one before Christmas. I’m going to change the theme of the room pretty soon, even if we don’t have a new bed yet. I’ll leave his big name plaque up, but I’m going to take down the hand/foot prints and anything that says “baby” on it. I’ll probably put those down in the office or in my room. I’ll also take the bunny/grass murals down. That’ll leave his Ravens posters and name plaque on the walls…and there will be lots of space for new stuff! I’m going to buy some “art” and maybe a mirror or two and put those at his level. Hopefully he doesn’t demolish them! I’ll have to get Todd to attach everything to the wall VERY securely.

We’re having a family party for Laird on the 18th. No friends party this year. I wanted to have one, but it’s just too much at this point. Maybe if I wasn’t working full time I could do it. We’ll probably stick to the original plan and hold off on another friend party until he’s 4 or so and can appreciate it! I remember my 4th birthday party fondly. Todd and I were talking the other night about the summer of 1986…I turned 4…he was about to start high school. He was imagining what he’d have said if someone had told him that his future wife was celebrating her 4th birthday!

Todd and I are working on making time for our marriage, but it’s very hard. We are usually on the bottom of each other’s priority list, but I suppose that’s par for the course when there’s a small child and a demanding Swedish Vallhund (ahem) around.

Speaking of Swedish Vallhunds, Jones knows he has been remiss in posting about himself. However, he has a new girlfriend (her name is Lois) and she is taking up all of his time. Todd and I haven’t met Lois yet, but apparently she is a Corgi. We’re actually wondering if Jones has made her up in order to place even more demands than usual upon us. He’s quite a manipulative canine.

Naughty or Nice? (no, it’s not Christmastime yet)

Snuzi at Every Captive Thought has given me a blog award – the Naughty or Nice Award. Hmm. I wonder what she thinks I am?!?!? I have been instructed to answer these questions in order to accept this award:

1. What is the silliest prank you ever played on someone?

I’m not really a fan of pranks – like Snuzi, I fear retaliation. Back in 1990, though, my mom, my brother Phil and I came up with a good April Fool’s joke to play on my dad – convince him that our mother (who at the time was nine months pregnant) had fallen down the steps. He nearly had a heart attack…and it took him awhile to forgive my mom for that one.

2. If you could take a trip anywhere out of the country where would you go? Why?

Since I’ve never been out of the country my options are wide open. Germany sounds nice – as does France, Spain, England, Ireland…anywhere in Europe really. I LOVE European food…and French fashion, of course.

3. Who plays the most influential role in your life?

Laird. Hands down. Certainly seems like he dictates every move I make.

4. Are you okay with your significant other being friends with an ex?

I don’t know. Todd’s not friends with any exes, so I don’t have to worry about that.

5. Favorite candle scent?

Yankee Candle’s Autumn Leaves.

6. Next movie you’re excited about seeing?

I’d really like to see Inception. Big Christopher Nolan fan. I’m sure we won’t see it until it comes out on DVD though!

7. You must ban one word from the dictionary and all usage, to be no longer uttered or written. What word do you ban?

I would much rather enforce grammatical rules as law. Not many words bother me.

8. Do you have any relatives in jail?

Don’t think so.

9. What crazy fads were popular when you were a teenager.

Flared jeans, midriff-baring tops, spiky hair on boys, construction boots in all social situations, lots of body piercings, boy bands, Britney Spears, backpacks as purses (man I hated that), teeny tiny purses.

10. Have you ever been mentioned in a newspaper or on TV?

Yes in the paper.

I’m supposed to pass this award on to 10 of my blogging friends unless I’m feeling naughty- in that case I can just pass it on to 5. Naughty-ish today?

Christine at Meet the Browns
Jen at Girl Livin’ the Life of a Southern Wife
Emily at Ashby Adventures
Jane at Sparkle Tudor
Rachel at Ciao, Eh!?
Tara at Capitol Mommy
Shannon at Big Country Kitchen

Pad Thai-ish

It’s probably my imagination, but everything seems to go much more smoothly and everyone seems to be much happier whenever I take the time to plan meals. I don’t have to do anything elaborate – it just has to be a bit more meaningful than chicken, rice and peas thrown on a plate (which is what we seem to have quite often – minus the chicken for me and add a sweet potato on a good day). Saturday I decided to look through a cookbook Elaine gave me for my birthday in order to have some rough idea of what we’d eat this week.

Last night I made a vegan version of Pad Thai and then threw in some diced chicken for Todd and Laird. Uh-maze-ing-ness. It was so good. I know traditional Pad Thai has eggs and seafood and this had neither…but it was incredible. Todd loved it, and Laird ate some of his (my son is on a bread and blueberries kick right now…so I’m just happy he ate some!).

The only bad thing about having a real dinner that I actually put some effort into preparing is that it cuts into my Laird time. All my boys played outside while I got dinner ready…it makes me sad, but I also know that having a real dinner is important to our well-being – mental well-being, too.

Of course I’ll have lots more time for Laird when I stop working an extra hour at work each day. I’m trying to build up a leave cushion, but this is very difficult for an impatient person like me.

In other news, I’ve started thinking about Laird’s birthday. I can’t believe that he will be 2 years old in about 7 weeks! Unbelievable. He’s talking a lot more now – most things are still pretty hard to understand, but he manages to get his point across.

He went to the movies for the first time last Saturday – he and I saw Toy Story 3 (it was our first date, hehe). He LOVED it – and he did so, so well sitting still! I had to remind him to settle down a few times, but for 22 months old he was amazing. What else could he possibly be, right?

Cars and Vacation Plans

Man, what a headache.

It has been one of those weeks. One of those months, actually. Craziness at work – changes, grumpiness over changes, speculation over changes…blah, blah, blah. Plus car trouble – we were thinking we had to replace the Alero, but at the last minute decided to have it fixed rather than take on a car payment. I am convinced that turned out to be the right decision, because this shop that fixed the Alero has a good idea of what might be wrong with Todd’s truck…and it probably won’t cost close to $4K to fix. So perhaps our car situation isn’t so dire as it looked on Tuesday – and believe me, we were feeling quite stressed and overwhelmed then. The truck goes to the shop close by my office on Monday, and we are praying that the news will be good! Now we won’t have to rent a car to take on vacation – we’ll actually be able to rely on the Alero!

Very much looking forward to going on vacation! Laird will be able to experience the ocean for the first time (he dipped his feet in last year, but it will be much different this year since he’s running around like a crazy man!). I must admit I’m feeling a little (okay, very) apprehensive about Laird being close to those powerful waves. I love the ocean. I love its repetition. I love its smells and sounds. Even though I like to go in beyond the breakers and “jump” the waves, I have a very healthy respect for the ocean. Knowing what the ocean is capable of makes me afraid. And very protective of my son. I am frequently overwhelmed by the intensity of feeling that I have for Laird…my urge to protect him is so strong. It’s primal, I know. It keeps both of us safe.

In a way, I am both looking forward to and dreading vacation because I am afraid for Laird. I am actually hoping that he will be a little afraid of the ocean, too – it will keep my heart from pounding the whole time we’re on the beach!

Other than my ocean fears, I know our time at the beach will be great. We are staying in a large house a block from the ocean with my family. We last went with them while I was pregnant, and it was the most relaxing trip I’ve ever taken. Something tells me this time won’t be quite as relaxing – but I know we will have fun nonetheless.

Hoping the next weeks will go by faster than the last one has…it was not enjoyable one. I am ready to go home and crash on the couch with Laird snuggled up to me. That relaxing/snuggling moment probably won’t happen – it will more likely be a chasing/screaming/tickling moment (or hour). And that’s okay. I’ll just sleep all the more soundly tonight!

No Brainer!

I just came across a poll asking this question –

If you could INSTANTLY lose 10 pounds, would you give up air conditioning for the entire summer?

Um, DUH!!!!!!!!!!!!! And since I’d be thinner, the heat wouldn’t feel so bad!

Initiative

I adore the Project 365 “thing” I’m doing on Facebook, but it seems to be sapping me of the energy I normally use for blogging. I also think, as I said in the last post, that I am un/subconsciously thinking that I can’t post unless I have pictures. (Ridiculous of me, I know.) I would post more pictures, but I can’t since I mostly post at work and I’m not about to hook my camera up and start uploading pictures here.

So that’s my story/excuse for not posting. Or maybe I’m just short on initiative! I have been down lately…and pretty negative. I hate acting like that, but I can’t seem to get myself out of whatever funk I’m stuck in. Work hasn’t helped my mood…and there isn’t even anything specific I can point to and say THERE IT IS. That’s why I’m feeling unmotivated and cynical (and therefore acting biting and sarcastic and probably dismissive of others). Personality transplant needed? Or maybe just more Zoloft?

I have to admit that I’ve wondered about going back on the happy pills but I honestly don’t think I will. I really want to be able to experience all emotions and learn to work through them. Sometimes I feel like a teenager who doesn’t know what to make of all these crazy feelings. I guess I sort of am like a teenager, since I was on antidepressants for 3 years and had all my emotions stifled (I don’t think antidpressants stifled all my emotions, just some. And I don’t think they do that to everyone. Maybe just me!). I wish I could explain this to people, but that’s even weirder than acting weird. I suppose the solution is to work on myself. To be kinder, more thoughtful, less quick to react, more attentive, less judgmental. I have so much to learn.

Life has been nice and slow lately. We had some crazy weekends in June, but July promises to be much more leisurely and I am very glad about that. Laird’s been getting in the pool a lot. He loves it, but thankfully is ready to get out after 45 minutes or so. Even on the hottest days (and believe me, we are in the middle of a recordbreaking heat wave) he gets all shivery. Precious man!

I love dancing in the living room with Laird after dinner. It’s something we don’t do that often, but lately it has been so hot that we haven’t let Laird play outside until after 7:30 when it starts to cool off. We usually dance to 80′s music…Laird likes anything that’s fast-paced and energetic. He insists that I dance with him. If I try to sneak into the kitchen and clean up, he follows me and yells “DANCE! DANCE!” and stands there hopping until I follow him back to the living room.

I’m realizing that we need to start working on colors, numbers and letters more regularly. I don’t know why, but I am so overwhelmed by that task. It might be partly because he doesn’t show that much interest in anything he needs to sit still for…we don’t even read books very much anymore. He’s not interested. I’m wondering if I need to push the issue, but right now I’m leaning more towards just letting him do his own thing. After all, he isn’t even 2 years old yet!

Present and Accounted For

I’m here!  I promise I’m still here!  I have been busy and preoccupied…and I have been meaning to post pictures and haven’t.  That makes me feel guilty.  So I avoid blogging.  Which makes me feel guiltier. 

None of that makes sense of course, but that’s how I feel.  So now I am breaking the cycle by posting without worrying about pictures.  Hmph to my guilt!

We were busy last weekend meeting some old friends for the very first time.  That’s right…the girls I met online while I was pregnant came to Baltimore for a fun-filled weekend.  Unfortunately being a local was not a positive…it meant that we were at our house while everyone else was downtown hanging out.  We made the right decision money-wise, but I wish I could have spent more time talking to these girls in person.  Ah well…the time we had together was still a blast!  I spent about an hour with some of them Friday afternoon and then we went to the aquarium with everyone Saturday morning.  Saturday night we went to dinner at John Steven in Fells Point.  I didn’t take a ton of pictures but everyone else did…so I can steal some of those from them.

We learned at the aquarium that Laird isn’t particularly fond of crowds, but he loved seeing the REAL Nemo and the REAL Dory.  Strollers weren’t allowed inside, so I got a good upper body workout carrying him around (if I’m present Laird doesn’t want Todd to hold him).

Laird’s newest interest is possession.  Yeah, I know that sounds creepy, but what I mean is that he is interested in who certain things belong to – as in, my car vs. Todd’s truck.  Or my car vs. Zaza’s (that seems to be the name that has stuck for my mom) car vs. Gook’s (Luke) car.  We were driving to the aquarium Saturday  morning (in Zaza’s car because mine was out of commission) and Todd was using the travel mug I usually use.  Laird took one look at Todd picking that mug up and yelled, “THAT’S MOMMA’S!!!”  I had to reassure him that it was okay for Dad to use my cup.

The only toys he cares about are his cars and trucks and his action figures – especially a little dog that came with a recycling truck and a driver that came with a car carrier.  He loves to set the figures up and then systematically knock them down…not throw them around the room not-so-systematically. 

We love the toddler bed and are so glad we made the transition.  I think it’s been great for his self-esteem!  I think we’re going to move the glider out of the room very soon.  The only thing we use it for now is time-out.

Todd and I are 90% sure we’ll be leaving the church I have attended for the last 15 years and he has attended for the last 30+.  It’s so sad, but it’s the right decision.  We disagree very, very strongly with the leadership on issues that they are setting in stone when those issues aren’t even black and white.  Ah yes, I’m being cryptic.  But I am afraid of legalism, and that is where I see this church heading.  I don’t want to be part of that.

We’ll be looking for somewhere new, though!  That will be exciting for sure.

Big Boy Bed

Heavens!  I just realized as I was responding to a comment on my “Stalling” post that I never gave the biggest news we’ve had in awhile – as of last Friday, June 11th, Laird is in a BIG BOY BED!!  No more crib!!!

Well, that’s not strictly true.  He’s in a toddler bed (crib minus one side plus guard rail equals toddler bed), not a twin bed…but still.  He can now come and go as he pleases.  We’ve had some adventures with the transition, but all in all it has been a very smooth process.

I’ll post pics and more details later.

Stalling

When I was in early elementary school, I went through a stage – don’t know how long it lasted – where I refused to go to bed without an ELABORATE routine. (My father would probably say that it was much more than a stage…it was a way of life that my mother allowed because she loved spending time with us and refused to follow my dad’s prescribed child bedtime of 8:30. But that’s another story.)

Anyway, my mom read to me, sang to me, prayed with me, got me a drink of water….etc., etc., etc.  Then I finally went to sleep – maybe.  I remember begging her to lie on the floor until I went to sleep and she conceded for awhile.  But the problem was that I only pretended to be asleep -  I wanted, I NEEDED  to be awake until she left.  (A control issue maybe?)  When Mom was tired of lying on the floor night after night, she told me she’d stay in her bedroom until I fell asleep.  I figured I could handle that. 

But no – with that arrangement I made myself stay awake until I actually saw her walk downstairs.  Why?!?!?!  Finally my little body was tired of my self-imposed game playing, and I informed my mother that I’d sleep with my door closed from then on…and I was able to get some sweet sleep.

Well, my son seems to be similar.  He absolutely refuses to go to sleep while I’m in the room…but he whines and cries if I leave.  I generally try to humor him for awhile, but then I give up and leave the room…and he almost always settles right down and goes to sleep.  When I’m in there, though, he pops his head up every 30 seconds to check that I am still there!  He is just like me. 

Which only makes me love him more.

Project 365

I’ve started a Facebook album entitled Project 365, and in this album I plan to show pictures that I have taken/will take for an entire year.  I’ve only done two days so far…day three is today…but already I am pleased.  It’s nice to be taking pictures of Laird with PURPOSE!  And perhaps it will make me a better amateur photographer, although I really have no clue what I am doing.  My camera probably isn’t a good one either – even though it was really expensive!

I am so looking forward to capturing Laird doing all the things he loves to do…running, climbing, playing with his trucks, playing in water, playing with Gus Jones…playing with Todd, playing with me.  He is such an amazing little boy!!!